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In order to date, many of the women had to confront their fears. After divorce or widowhood, they had developed identities as women who were content with their lives. They had structured lives that were full of hobbies, family, and friends, and they did not want to go out with a man just to have something to do. Dating, for most, provided opportunities to enjoy the company of men, to be treated as special, and to engage in activities as part of a couple.
Interestingly, the women in the study who had remarried spoke of finding a resolution of interdependence where independence had not been sacrificed Watson et al.
However, single women continued to guard their independence and were concerned that too much involvement with a man might threaten their independence. In some ways, dating was seen as a step towards marriage, not as a separate activity. For those women who did not want to remarry, often because of their strong independence or their contentment with their lives, this lack of a desire to remarry was a barrier to dating. However, in looking toward dating in the future, the currently single women were still open to the possibilities that dating might bring.
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It might be nice to have a male companion with whom to have dinner, for example, but these women had female friends and family with whom to have dinner and do other activities. The experience would be a different one if done with a male partner, and it was fun when that opportunity arose, but these women saw themselves as content and independent and not lonely or desperate. Dating was seen as an enhancement to life—if it happens, that would be nice; if it does not, life is nice as it already is.
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Limitations One of the major limitations of this study is the small, homogeneous sample. Because some of the women were divorced, some were widowed, and some were both, the sample was very diverse in this respect. However, in an article that included all statuses, some of the individual nuances may have been overshadowed as similarities between all of the women were stressed, perhaps to the exclusion of the some of the unique differences of one or more of the groups.
Future Research Future research would benefit from purposefully interviewing single women who are divorced and dating in later life, as very little information is known about their experiences. For example, one individual may be single but casually dating multiple partners, whereas another individual may be single but involved in a LAT relationship or Living Apart Together Both of these individuals would be defined as single and dating, but their experiences of dating could potentially be very different.
Lastly, future research might examine online dating, as it has become more of a popular tool for meeting potential dating partners for individuals of all ages. The nature and functions of dating in later life. Research on Aging. The importance of dating relationships on quality of life for older persons.
Family Relations. Diversity among late-life couples. The desire to date and remarry among older widows and widowers. Journal of Marriage and Family. Family ties and aging.
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Intimate relationships in later life. Current realties, futureprospects. Journal of Family Issues. Gender differences in new partnership choices and constraints for older widows and widowers.
Ageing International. An exploratory investigation into dating among later-life women. Western Journal of Communication. Results from our singles survey. Karlsson SG, Borell Intimacy and autonomy, gender and ageing: Living apart together.
Dating and courtship in the later years. Interpretive phenomenological analysis and the psychology of health and illness. In: Yardley L, editor. Material discourses of health and Illness. So how do you handle it? You re probably not desperate enough to stalk your neighbors, or to go looking for friends with benefits in all the wrong places bars come to mind.
But offered a chance to reconnect with someone from your past — dinner with your high school steady, for example — you might just surprise yourself by winding up in bed.
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